[ she stands to her full 4'10" of height, barely putting her above sam's eye level sitting down, and slams her tiny gremlin hands on the table, offended. ]

You did not pay your human taxes! Transformation takes mana I do not have, human. And because I cannot eat you, you must give me one of your human elixirs. You may use your "mmmmmmmmmmoney" to pay for it.

[ and if you don't stop her, she's putting two coffees and also a piece of pie on your bill and then going to eat them in front of you, sam. ]