[Alec had been expecting a joke about the party since he isn't usually the sociable one of the group or some comment about him drinking. Jace actually admitting his emotions while they were out in public isn't normal, but then the accidents they all had seem to change what is considered as typical for them all.
Twisting the glass between his hands, he considers how to respond to that his parabatai doesn't lash out or push him away, focusing on that instead of not remembering almost being killed in a werewolf bar.]
You could never do something that made you deserve that.
[Brushing his shoulder against Jace's as a sign of silent support, Alec keeps his tone low so no one nearby will hear.]
It doesn't work, Jace. I tried it once. It dulled the pain. It made it tolerable. I could deal with my fears, but it didn't make it go away. It made it worse when I finally had to stop and accept the past.
no subject
Twisting the glass between his hands, he considers how to respond to that his parabatai doesn't lash out or push him away, focusing on that instead of not remembering almost being killed in a werewolf bar.]
You could never do something that made you deserve that.
[Brushing his shoulder against Jace's as a sign of silent support, Alec keeps his tone low so no one nearby will hear.]
It doesn't work, Jace. I tried it once. It dulled the pain. It made it tolerable. I could deal with my fears, but it didn't make it go away. It made it worse when I finally had to stop and accept the past.