bumfuckidaho | TEST DRIVE MEME, FEBRUARY 2017.

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TEST DRIVE MEME, FEBRUARY 2017.

TEST DRIVE MEME

There was an accident. That's basically the only thing you know for certain. Maybe a car wreck - metal and broken glass everywhere, and the sirens and the screaming. Or maybe there was an explosion. Maybe your bike hit a rock and you careened uncontrollably off a mountain path. You can't can't quite make out the details, not who was at fault or why. Try as you might, the chaos is all you can remember.

It's also the last thing you remember from before you wake up here.

When you open your eyes, the accident is gone. Instead, you're in a hospital bed – the nursing staff greets you with a cheerful smile.

Welcome to Wayward Pines, they tell you. You'll make a full recovery here.

option one WELCOME TO WAYWARD PINES

The hospital staff had seemed very friendly, but ultimately unhelpful when it came to answering your questions, insisting you shouldn't worry about such things, and that it was smarter to just rest until you'd fully recovered.

That was some time ago. You've since managed to leave the hospital – either via escape, or simply by waiting patiently and filling out paperwork until they finally agreed to release you. Now you've found yourself in the small but hearty town of Wayward Pines, Idaho. It's a charming little place, and the people there are all friendly enough, more than willing to greet you on the street, or give you directions if you need them.

Unless you're asking for directions out of town, of course.

Some will simply smile and give you a hearty pat on the shoulder and ask why you'd ever want to do a thing like that? Others will get quiet for a moment, and direct you to the nearest sign posted near the doorway of every building.

Don't bother taking the road, either. Whether you walk or get your hands on a vehicle, you won't get anywhere. The road simply takes you away from town for a short while before looping around and bringing you right back in.

There's no use questioning things, and it seems pretty useless to try to leave. So really, why not stay a while? Everyone's convinced that you'll find something to love in Wayward Pines.

(For the purposes of this test drive, you're welcome to handwave the existence of basically any local business or activity.)

option two INTO THE WOODS

You've just heard a scream from the woods.

I mean, it could've been an animal. There's bound to be some kind of wildlife amongst the trees, right? But then again, it did sound awfully... human.

Though all of the locals nearby conceal a flinch at the sound, they'll assure you it's nothing, if you ask them. Why, you're probably just hearing things! (But with an anxious undertone of stop asking questions.) If you're curious, though, and brave enough to go see, they won't make any move to stop you from going into the wooded area surrounding the town.

The trees are tall, and their branches are thick enough to block out a significant amount of sunlight from breaking through the canopy, leaving the forest floor a little dimmer and cooler than the streets of town.

Whatever the source of the scream was, you won't be able to find it out here. An experienced hunter might notice some signs of a struggle, and a few faint boot prints, but they don't really seem to lead anywhere in particular.

What you will find, if you walk far enough, is a fence. A big one - at least 30 feet tall, made of metal and concrete. It goes on quite a ways in either direction as well; follow the wall far enough, and you'll see that it connects with the steep, sheer cliffs that surround the rest of Wayward Pines, effectively boxing the town in.

In actuality, you'll probably feel it before you see it. A full 500 yards from the wall, when it's hardly a shadowy smudge through the trees, you start to feel a little bit tired, a little bit weak. Trouble is, the closer you get, the weaker you feel - like the wall itself is sapping the strength out of you, and the closer you get, the worse it feels. Any powers you may have had grow weaker in kind as you make your way to the fence, but even ordinary humans will find their strength sapping away. By the time you're close enough to read the signs and to feel the crackle of electricity radiating from the thick wires criss-crossing the wall's metal surface, you're too weak to stand.

Do you crawl closer still and risk electrocution, or do you crawl away and assess the situation once you're far enough from the fence to be able to stand?

option three IT'S A COUPLE OF FLAKES

There's nothing particularly insidious about the inch of snow that settles over the town one night while everyone sleeps. Kids run outside to have snowball fights and make snow angels, neighbors wave across to you as they shovel their driveway, the local coffee shop runs a 2 for 1 deal on hot cocoa. Snow crunches under your feet at your walk down the street and the cold bite in the air is revitalizing.

The next morning, there's a few more inches of snow. And then a few more the day after that. By the end of the week the snow is a good three feet deep and the entire experience has lost its novelty. Wayward Pines only has a single street plow to its name, and even when the streets are clear, surprise patches of black ice make travel downright dangerous if you aren't prepared. No special sale on hot cocoa can possibly be worth trudging through knee high snow drifts (even your most consciences neighbors can't keep up on the shoveling anymore).

And the power starts to fail in some of the houses. Sure, the repairman promises to stop by as soon as he can, but you're hardly to first person to call him today and he won't be able to pencil you in until tomorrow at the earliest, and what are you going to do about the cold until then? Maybe your neighbor's heat is still on, or maybe that trek to the coffee shop is looking more appealing by the second.

Either way it's time to layer your clothes, watch your step, and hope that Spring to comes early. And try to ignore that kid double dog daring you to lick a flagpole, it just won't end well.

option four ON THE NETWORK

Though it's not as high-tech as you might be used to (or hell, maybe you're ren faire and it's centuries beyond anything you've seen), but Wayward Pines does in fact have a network to accommodate its citizens.

Go ahead, post a network post! Just note that the network, at current, is audio-only and can only be accessed from the telephones in each character's home.

( a few notes )

Welcome to our second test drive here in The Pines! Just one important thing to note this time:

Upon arrival in Wayward Pines, characters find themselves struggling to remember entirely who they were or where they came from. Memories return progressively over the next two weeks. You're welcome to play with this mechanic in any of these prompts, but it's definitely not mandatory! For more details on this temporary memory loss, see our FAQ.

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[ oh ho ho, silly mortal. Scott scoffs, pointing first at himself, taking a bite, then back to himself ]

Does this look like the face of an Olympic athlete? Nah— Ant Man's a superhero. His best friend's are ants, and he takes serious offense to being called a terminator, Sam. Got a cool as heck costume and everything too, I think.

[ does he think it was cool or does he remember if he had a costume or not? yes. he thinks about Sam's last question for a bit as he chews, nodding his head every few seconds as if it requires deep deep thought ]

I apparently ran a car off a cliff. And I know that's patently false, because one, I'm a safe driver and always wear my seat belt, and two, my other best friends are felons and one of them does all the driving for me.

No, I'm saying Ant-dash-man sounds like an Olympic athlete, I never said you looked like an Olympic Athlete.

[ Wait. ]

You're a superhero. And I thought 'I work for the President' was out there.

[ Still, it's weird. Two accidents, same time, same result? It doesn't make any--]

Did you say felons?

[ he stops and stares at Sam, a stare that doesn't break for several seconds ]

Okay, that's a lot of questions in the span of a few seconds. Yes, superhero, and yes, felons, but important detail, he stole a smoothie machine. He's a really great guy once you get to know him.

[ the smoothie machine detail is important, because even if they were a band of master thieves, they were also a good and nice thieves, like Robin Hood. ]

And are you sure you work for the president? 'Cuz you don't sound that sure. Kinda wishy-washy, kinda like you're mumbling through your teeth.

[ Sam bristles at that. ] I work for Josiah Bartlet, President of the United States of America. It's the one thing I am sure of, beyond my name, thank you very much, and me working for the President from the middle of nowhere, Idaho, is still more reasonable than you being a superhero.

[ A pause, because that was accidentally an insult. ] I don't mean you, specifically, I mean a general you. Superheroes don't exist.

Bartlet, like the pear?

[ he wrinkles his nose, because he's preeeeeetty sure the president is a black guy. maybe. who even is the president in MCU right now? it sure as fuck ain't trump. but whatever, he's not here to debate if the president was named after a fruit because the more important thing right now is to defend superheroes ]

No offense taken, because I like to think of myself as more of a down-to-Earth-hero, but here's something that's gonna make your day. [ for real! he's not even being sarcastic! ] They're real! And they wear America-colored spandex and have super strong grip and are actually really cool and awesome in real life too!

[ and then there's iron man. he stabs at his eggs with a fork and it screeches ] And there's also the flying dickbag. He's one too, I guess.

That is a sequence of visuals I will never be able to scrub from my mind. Thank you for that.

[ And, like it's the most natural thing in the world, he steals a bagel from Scott's plate. ]

D'you have any cream cheese?

You're welcome buddy. I even had a picture of Captain America on my phone; not the best, he's kinda looking the other way, but I did. He even shook my hand.

[ a day he will never forget. ever. Scott raises an eyebrow at the bagel theft, but he lived with two other man hobos. having food stolen off his plate was basically how they said hello ]

Cream cheese costs extra. The Secret Service might get free spread every morning, but us common folk gotta pay. It was that or my doughnut.

Should've taken the donut.

[ He steals Scott's knife as well and starts sawing his way into the bagel. ] Hey, it's fresh. At least this place has that going for it. Captain America? Seriously? That's what you're going with? You don't think maybe you hit your head a little harder on the way down than you estimated?

No no, my donut. Bad cop, no donut.

[ and in case Sam's considering stealing it, Scott stabs it with his fork, twice just in case his germs didn't get deep enough with the first stab. he also drags it a little closer to him.... just in case.

but since Sam seems to know Cap yet doesn't seem to know superheroes are real, Scott talks a little slower, just in case Sam's a little slow ]

You know Cap's real right? He's just not on TV and in the news, he's actually out there... doing super hero-y things? Yeah.

I'm not a cop, I'm a lawyer.

[ He bites into the bagel, eyebrows raised, and chews his too-large bite just long enough that he can speak around a mouthful. ] Not criminal law, though, so I'm pretty sure we're good to keep talking.

[ He swallows. ] And Captain America is a comic book character invented in the 1940s.

[ WHAT AN ASSUMPTION SAM. GOSH. he raises a hand as if to refute that point, maybe saying something along the lines of 'my days of breaking and entering and stealing shit are long behind me....' when he realizes its not the truth. and for some reason the idea that he's an electrical engineer seems to be growing on him ]

Okay, cop-lawyer-Secret Service-guy, also known as Sam. I'm still just Scott, in case you're wondering.

[ yeah Sam, that's your new job description. Scott chuckles to himself as he bites into his donut finally, shaking his head slightly like an adult admonishing a particularly silly child ]

Invented, or based off true events?

[ Silence. A few owlish blinks. ]

We should both still be hospitalized, I'm guessing.

[ Scott takes that as him winning the argument. HAH. he wipes his mouth off with the back of his hand, before leaning back in his seat and looking as pleased as punch. he looks like the kid who stole the cookie jar and managed to place the blame on his brother, ie beyond smug. ]

Hey! Stay positive. You might be refusing to see fact, but you're still a good guy. Don't let minor brain damage stop you from living your life to the fullest.

No-- Woah-- Hang on! I do not have brain damage, I have selective trauma-induced amnesia, and where is your proof that Captain America exists? You have a picture of him on your phone? Prove it. Convince me it's not some... some... LARPer in a back lot somewhere with a painted trash can lid.

[ He rips off another piece of bagel, warming to the argument now. Scott what have you done. ] Dazzle me.

[ oh boy Sam, now you've done it. while Scott likes to think of himself as kinda cool and kinda close with all the cool kids (IE Cap, Scarlet Witch is cool too), he's not really part of the 'club' and therefore doesn't have access to Steve's innermost secrets, like boxers or briefs, so he can't dazzle Sam with that information.

he clears his throat, finishing off his donut quickly and wiping his hands on a napkin as he thinks of definitive proof that Cap exists ]

One dazzling, coming right up.

[ he's thinking, he's thinking.... and goddamnit Sam. he pauses, leaning onto the table with both arms as if about to share a major secret ]

Okay, before I start, what would you consider 'proof'?

[ It a lineface. He's very good at linefaces. They're his ultimate expression of dissatisfaction. ]

Would it hold up in court.

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